Who Would Swipe Your Sewer Hose

 

The Van With No Name was peacefully resting in a RV storage facility in Portland Oregon, as I went home to schedule having my hip achieve its permanent out of body experience, that it has been demanding for most of this year.

Now having my joints forcibly removed from my body as I slept the sleep of a controlled fentanyl adventure is something that I really never wanted to do, but if I could post the x ray of my hip you would see that it is worn out like a old shoe with a BIG hole in the bottom, and it’s got to go.

No Smoking ! You Are Out Of Here

But the Van With No Name, that still has No Name because the state of Alaska DMV hasn’t made personal plates a part of its website in spite of my best efforts of telling everyone in the south I found with one tooth in their head that they could probably become a important person in the newly almost recalled but reelected dunvley administration just by making a phone call and telling the governor  that you have no experience as a commissioner of the DOT but the title sounds cool, and maybe you could shoot at the dot’s and hit the bulls eye, as you are good at shooting. What more qualification do you need for an administration that is working overtime to make the functions of government dysfunctional, just so they could privatize those government functions so their pals could rape Alaska even more than the oil companies…It’s a win win for greed. A bad day for having your street plowed out.

It Was Only A Couple Of Feet Of Snow Why Plow?

It was very near the most festive day of the year, Winter Solstice the day the light returns to the north, when I got a call from the little lady at Johnson Creek Storage, the very place where my van was resting.

“Your rear window has been broken, she said”. She offered no other information to whether the van had been stripped, was on blocks?

I called her again the next day hoping for a damage estimate, but she had none. But she did reassure me that they had covered the space where the glass once was with some cardboard.

My only course of action was to make a emergency trip to Portland, and get the van out of Johnson Creek Storage, find new secure storage, replace the window, and assess the damage.

 Thanks to the holiday everyone and their unicorn wants to travel. It took a few days to make the trip from ANC to PDX. Oh, and there was the three hours sitting on the plane at the gate for three hours, but oh well. It’s always better to be on a broken plane on the ground than in the air.

Had The Broken Plane Flown This Would Have Been My Morning

Finally making it to Portland early in the morning two days ago and heading out to the storage under the cover of darkness with a Uber driver who didn’t do jump starts but would have made a good decoy if the van was occupied by hostile  derelicts.

Fortunately, the van was void of any criminals, but the rear window was indeed shattered, and items were missing.

Lucky Break To Find Matching White Tarp & Duct Tape At Lowes

The bums had entered and swiped my tools, my power cord, water hose, and my sewer hose.

A few other small items were missing. My cast iron pans, my Canon underwater camera. My cool sunglasses, and ….

None of my solar/inverter system was damaged, the catalytic convertor is still there, so I guess I am fairly fortunate and I am especially giddy about paying amerikan insurance giant State Farm, thousands of dollars annually, and they will only pay a portion of the $500.00 window , and the items swiped well I can just buy them again, if I want them, and it’s all on me unless it is over the $1500.00 deductible, and then it's still on me only more money out of pocket. 

The new storage for the Van With No Name is covered. It has higher fences, wraps of concertina wire, and the Piece de resistance are three separate electric fence wires each packing 7200 volts. Come and get my sewer hose now.